As you know milestone birthdays occur every ten years. I don't know about you, but the milestone birthday does not seem to initiate change or stress. I am usually excited about a big birthday--which as I get older may not continue--but for now it is a big deal, probably because my mom still makes a fuss of my birthday. Thanks mom for everything you do all year long!
When I turned 41 I made a lot of life changes. Now as I approach the end of my 50th year I seem to be making some changes as well. Nothing as major as when I was 41, but hopefully changes that will last.
I have accepted that I will not be a full-time craftsperson. This small feat makes my workday much more pleasant. I realize that I am very lucky; I have a good job, work with nice people, and am in a creative environment where I am not the "artsy weirdo." Until I came to PAFA I had many abusive bosses. Some of them did not mean to be that way, but they were. At PAFA I have reported to three different people during my time in this position and each of them has been kind, fair, and most important have had a good sense of humor. (Actually a lot of the people at work make me laugh throughout the day, which is so great!) I think that accepting that this is my life has brought me to where I am today.
Maybe it is just another "phase of productivity," but since I have been home from Italy I have been on a steady pace. It really revved up during the holiday break and I have been able to keep it going. I accept my different moods and the creative endeavors they inspire. Right now I am not into drawing, but instead of being upset by that, I just go with it and do what I feel like doing.
When I was not knitting it was very upsetting, probably because I have identified myself over the last 28 or more years as a passionate knitter, so not knitting or even feeling like knitting seemed like some sort of betrayal to my creative self. Sort of like I was turning my back on a friend. At some point I even thought of giving away my vast supply of knitting tools, books and yarn, but knew that would be a big mistake because one day I would feel like knitting again, and it has a new excitement like someone who is just learning, but because it comes back like riding a bike I get to do all the fun stuff without the trials and tribulations of having to constantly frog and tink. (Well except for last weekend when everything went wrong including my sewing. That black cloud drifted off on Monday and I once again am a little knitting machine.)
Year 51 starts this weekend and I hope that it brings lots of inspiration, creativity, and the ability to ride out the not so good times with patience and humor. I also hope to maintain my current health, both mentally and physically because so many people I know have lost their good health. This again makes me aware of how lucky I am and that I should never take anything for granted.
I am content--what more can one ask for?
Baci e abbracci